Ajima

 I know she is no more, I won’t see  her again  and there is a deep deep sense of loss and grief and pain that she is no more. 

She lived the longest amongst all my grandparents, the least stressed, so unassuming, never demanding, never seen her angry. It was like she learnt to live life on Ajaji’s terms, serving him always. I remember, since my childhood, on any particular day, it started with making coffee for Ajaji. Breakfast for him would be up next, followed by another coffee, or tea. Then lunch , evening tea, snack, dinner. This routine became quite rigorous after Ajaji had his appendicitis’s  operation. Occasionally, when he didn’t get his things on time, he would be very upset and angry but she just tolerated it. Sometimes he teased her until she gave up. Either she was immune to it or there was nothing abnormal or sad about these spurts. While I sat with bade Ajima on the “chapta” every evening having a brief chat or a story, Chote Ajima was always doing something for Ajaji. 

 When he was no more I thought she will get a change, a break of sorts.Surprisingly, I saw not much change in her, of course she missed him but her life didn’t change much. I didn’t see grief that stopped her life or complete loss of anchor for her own life. I think she was her own anchor and not Ajaji as I perceived. She continued to have discipline for her  life with  doing things autonomously, not depending on anyone. 

She was a warm smiling patient accommodative, self-sufficient, serving, unassuming and calm. Her one hug made up for all those missed in the past. She stayed so long with us, with so many of us, through different life stages.She stood there like time unwavering and strong. She had her quite presence. She laughed aloud like a little child. She cooked and served with so much kindness. when she kissed me, I felt a gush of love and care in an instant. She bound us all the longest with her gentleness. What a big and beautiful family Ajaji and Ajimas gave us!what role models they stood for! It makes me humble and proud to continue their legacy in many ways. To stay United any number of times we fight, to come back together whatever separates us, to find reasons to rejoice together, many more than to distance ourselves. 

It puts more responsibility on us as the grandchildren of this great couple/s to continue with the virtues they stood for, taught us and lived by.