Me Vs Me

"Hey! Howz  ya life? " with a warm smile, enhanced from the cinnamon tea.

"Great! it is !" With a zesty chuckle to match the Orange ‘zestea’

"Tell me more!" Lying somewhere between childlike curiosity and unchildlike jealousy. 

"Well! I have everything I need to be happy. 

The essentials like food  and shelter,

A loving family, Time to keep myself fit and have fun.

I play with kids,  soak in Netflix or News

I work relentlessly or take a break

That's an awesome lot for me! “ in one long breath , as if it was rehearsed but sounding utterly spontaneous.

“That’s about me, Your turn now : How's Work?" Pulling oneself from the sweetness of life and politely interested in the other. 

"Just fine......., ya......." a tad boringly.

"You don't seem fired up... Why  so?" Queerly

"I  have some work ,but not too much.

I have timelines , but not enough pushed.

I have peaks, but much comfort.

It's interesting, but not kick ass exciting.." drearily... insipidly.....uninterestingly

Hopefully “Hmm I hear that.....

What would make you feeling Great?"

Aspiringly ".... like managing a significant budget and team responsibility, a leadership position, why not add a promotion on top?"

"Sounds Elevating, and.....What will that give you in addition?", constructively. 

Dreamily, “Hmm let's see - Excitement each work day, being on the run,  a feeling of critical contribution,  some fame,  may be more money!"

"That sounds quite attractive,  Are all of those outcomes assured?" Innocently.

"You see, these are possibilities but no one can be certain." With certainty

"What do you say are the odds?"

"One to one .. equal at the least."

"Whoow.. Wouldn't you want great work like that? "

Firmly "If  I am at 'great work' my friend, I doubt with considerable seriousness if one can retain  your 'great life'!" 

"Hang on..That sounds like a threat. Are they strictly exclusive?" Meekly 

"Won’t say that! There are possibilities of an overlap, I won’t bet on the extent though," tad doubtfully

"Spell your odds!”

"At least half and half” with a crooked smile.

"Have you been at great work before?"curiously 

"Yes,, Been there..." Surrounded with Pride and bordered with arrogance.

"How did the odds work?"

"Now, you are getting too personal." Hot potato.. Ouch!

Apologetically,  

"Sorry, I will stay out of that. With such odds would you give  great work a chance?"

Indifferently, “Not Sure”

My first Happy Place.

 The Google maps showed 30 mins drive,  the farthest since I landed in this country.  I have been wanting to go to a temple since our last temple visit in Paris during the visa trip.  The temple schedule on the Internet showed bhajans led by a family at 10.30 a.m.  I will just about make it if I leave after finishing preparing for lunch, I thought. 

I was at the driving seat at 03  mins past 10. I input the destination on the car navigation and set to drive.  Sunday it is and seemed like not too many cars on the road,  a boon for a still new driver in US.  As I drove paying more attention than normal to the  traffic lights,  the lanes and the speed limits,  the sky closed with dark clouds and in no time it rained and poured.  The visibility was low and it stuck me that I didn't carry my umbrella which  is not a smart thing in a place like mobile , titled the rainiest city in United States! From the serious  , attention focused expression,  there was a smile on my face  which was difficult to explain as the windshield was pitter patted with the heavy rain. 

Getting to the last of the 13 miles ( that's 20 odd Km), the rain slowed down and a I took the left turn to enter the temple parking,  it stopped.  About 36 mins past 10, and I was there. I parked the car and walked towards the temple door. I found nearly 30 pairs of footwear left on either side of the door which also  had a huge footwear stand with a note " Please leave your footwear on the stand" holding not more than 3 pairs, one of them, mine. 

I entered into a large, a very large hall that can seat 500 people in theatre style. Right in front were a number of deities  lined from left to right from Lord Ganesha, Lord Subrahmanya, Lord Venkateswara, Lord Rama, lakshmana, Sita, Hanuman,  Lord Krishna with Radha, Lord Shiva & Parvati, Goddess Durga and Shirdi SaiBaba.  On the left side of this hall separated by a curtain was someone at the microphone teaching children some Slokas and prayers especially around Guru Purnima that recently passed.  

I offered prayers in the temple and went to join in the learning slokas with the children.  I learnt some new prayers and we chanted together for 30 mins after which the children's session came to an end . Just a couple of minutes later you could hear the Bhajan starting on the temple side.  After a quick exchange with Saritha, I joined in the Bhajan. There were 5-7 people  sitting  on the floor  and about 10 others on chairs just behind.  Everyone was  singing from a book and I reached out to one of several copies  kept to a side.  

After this point,  there was no thinking involved.  It was flowing with the order of bhajans and / or random page numbers someone from the  group would call out and we would together do the bhajan / Kirtan printed on that page.  

As I sat there,  I had a feeling of elevation, like a double promotion of sorts we had in school to skip a class,  to be here. As I hummed the bhajans with everyone,  my eyes would fill up from time to time and my voice choked.  I realised how much I needed to be doing this. There was no other thought,  just a presence . I felt grateful and blessed.  

After an hour,  was the arati which all of us got to do it by turns and a closing by the temple poojari. We all stood in a queue for the Teertham and prasadam. 

I met people who have been here for 40 years and started with praying together in their house as the temple came up only 4 years ago.  Made a few more exchanges and intros,  shared a quick bite with them and took leave. 

I came back feeling energized , exactly as after each samagamam or a long pooja. I know now where to access this space that fills me and humbles me.