While I was having a nice holiday in Amsterdam, I got the news that I failed my practical driving test in France that I attend a couple other of days ago. I moved to France with family about 18 months ago taking a new position with the same company . I allowed a part of my beautiful holiday to be burdened with this disappointment. The feeling of failure stuck to me through all the lovely sights in this beautiful country, meeting friends after many years, good food and new experiences. I couldn’t place why I failed the test. I scored more than what is required to pass the exam one elementary mistake kept me from getting the license.
Personally, I was quite impressed with the way I drove during the test. I did most things right. I stayed confident in my mind and actions even though the way we drive in India and France are a world apart. To star with you drive on the left in India while on the right in France. There is hardly any chance one can drive fast in India in city limits, while you need to keep the speed for the road, fast if its the rule or slow adapting to the real situation in France. In India you cannot drive without one leg on the clutch while it is prohibited to drive in free wheel in France. My personal driving style had its twist while I have never been involved in an accident for a dozen years I’d driving I have been doing.
Despite the differences, I decided to drive within a week after I landed in France due to the necessities as the way I saw it. The weather, the lack of a well connected public transport system and the emotion of a mother having uprooted her children from all the luxuries of the home country were the main ones. Making sense of the roads, the road signs, the roundabouts and the right hand drive together was a mess and a true nightmare making me sleepless. The fear lurched like I was a new driver for nearly 8 months until I prepared for my theory test learning all the rules and finally succeeded in the theory test in French.
I saw this video on riding a backwards brain cycle Get smarter every day 133 by Destin while attending a workshop in Innovation a few months ago.It didn’t make sense to me until I was reflecting after failing the test. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend you do.(https://www.google.fr/search?q=riding+a+backwards+brain+cycle++Get+smarter+every+day+133&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-fr&
Coming back to the disappointment from failure. I had an aha when I related to this video and realized, possibly justified that my brain has a pattern developed for driving that works on breaking than speeding, on limited coverage of blind angles than an exhaustive one. Though I know cognitively I need to apply some new rules, my brain unconsciously retracts back to my old pattern of driving.
Unlearning is of course about new information and knowledge. It is also about allowing your brain to form new patterns that it can reference back to. It is being conscious that the brain can go back to old patterns and the risks associated with it.It is about being patient with oneself and letting the process take place. When we make a place for disappointments in the process of unlearning and relearning, our energy is focused elsewhere but the right thing. After this the entire heartburn mellowed, and the acceptance is better.
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